If I was a sim I would go on simblr and reblog simscourse posts like "smarp floopie in zul weanow" and send my simutual a funny post which is just a picture of a duck with a smiley face icon next to it and then I would log off and die on the floor
Just remembered how my old boss used to say “allied forces” any time dragon flys showed up when we were out working in mosquito infested swamps
So I finally got my water heater replaced after more than half a year of it leaking and nearly destroying my floor, but that's not the story. The story is of the handyman that installed it.
Dude's name is Chris, and he's your typically midwestern schlub - friendly, apologizes too much, really likes the Cardinals, maybe a little younger than my parents. Hella nice tho, gets the heater installed quickly, and even offers to fix the floorboards it warped (after nearly tripping over the hump it made in the floor twice). Overall, a stress-free experience.
Then, as he's gathering up his tools - "So, I noticed your, uh, banner. Over your bed."*
*(The closet where my water heater is is located in my bedroom because I live in a mobile home, dude wasn't just wandering creepily into my bedroom)
He's referring to a giant pride flag that's hanging over my bed, with the words "Sounds gay, I'm in"
My anxiety spikes instantaneously, thinking oh christ I'm about to get hatecrimed or at least microaggressioned.
But then he says "Yeah, my daughter is gay, and I was wondering, like...where do you guys, ya know, meet up?"
What.
"Because she met her most recent girlfriend when she was in jail, and I keep asking why she doesn't just find a nice lesbian librarian or something and she said 'dad I know they're out there, I just don't know where'. So...like...where do you?"
So I ended up confessing to this nice man who installed my water heater that I don't know of any real gay culture in our mostly Baptist Missouri town of about 18,000 that routinely freaks out over pride displays in the library (I'm sure it exists but I'm lazy and haven't gone looking for it). My girlfriend lives in an area with a rather bustling gay community (we just did a face painting booth for their pride festival a few weeks ago), so maybe have her go out there with some friends, and also a lot of queers I know play dnd so maybe find a nice group of them and network. I then apologized that I wasn't more helpful in getting his daughter settled with a nice, wholesome dyke.
On the plus side, he was not deterred at all, and seemed to be very interested in the fact dnd was so popular amongst the el gee bee tees. I told him the names of some dms I know and told him to go to town. I do not know if the names will be given to his daughter or hoarded for himself so he can join a group and play like he did when he was a teenager and not be called satanic for it.
He's coming to fix my floor next week.
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.
friday night feel like PS1 graphics solid snake swimming
hold up what do you mean humans can't tell if something's wet . what
Think about it, what's the first thing you focus on when you touch something wet? Usually it's temperature.
And if something is dripping down your skin you might feel ticklish
But like you've probably touched something cold and thought it was wet for a second before realizing it was dry and your brain just assumed
So you guys can feel wetness based on experience but it's just that your skin isn't specialized to feel that I think
yeah we don’t have sensors for wetness (other creatures do) but we just learn what wetness feels like to make up for it.
you've heard of Shrimp Colors get ready for its unexpected sequel: Shrimp Knows Water Is Wet But We Don't (yes really)
Checks out.
Had an injury on my hand a while back that damaged some nerves in my finger. Took me months to stop thinking my finger had gotten wet whenever I picked up a cold piece of metal cutlery.
My mom sometimes asks me to touch the bedsheets or towels she’s hung to dry because she’s not sure if they’re still wet or just cold.
9/11 really is like a collaborative holiday on here like everybody comes up to the front of class to do a 9/11 themed joke and everyone claps and then the next person goes up and again everyone claps
my post is in the middle of takeoff with only one mission on its mind
I like zukka as a ship but I cannot go into the tags for content about it. why is everyone so insistent on making zuko a little femboy. so many people just see a long haired man regardless of culture/time period and call him femme. And they make sokka hypermasculine like hello????? he’s so fucking flamboyant ?? he wrote poetry, loved arts and crafts, wore a gay little purse, and did DRAG. in CANON. In a modern setting sokka would fix your car and then say SLAYYY do a death drop
I have never seen an edit of this in my life